Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist - Part 41

Not Them, but Us

Earlier this month in a meeting with my elders quorum, we had a discussion about some of the challenges that individuals face in life.  One man talked about his father, who announced to his family that he was transgender and subsequently left the Church. Another man told about his nephew who, after he returned from his mission, announced to the world online that he was gay, and how that was such a surprise to his family.  Other men talked about those in their families who had experienced a crisis of faith, a serious illness, a disability, and other challenges.

While I appreciate the vulnerability of these men opening up and being willing to share issues, I have a hope about this type of thinking and discussion:  

I also know a man in our ward who is transgender, although he hasn’t announced it to the world.  I know another man in our ward who experiences same gender attraction. I know a man in our ward who has experienced a period of spiritual darkness, another whose wife cheated on him, another who experiences depression and anxiety, another who has a porn addiction, another who has an eating disorder.  I myself have a perfectionism OCD. And the list of challenges could go on and on.

So my hope and request is this:  Since everyone has trials, weaknesses, issues, difficulties, and afflictions, instead of thinking and talking about “them,” “they,” and “those who experience [fill in the blank],” think of “them” as “us,” and “we,” because while you’re talking about “them,” “we” are sitting with you in that meeting.  

This is one way in which we can increase inclusion and unity in our congregations.  

Elder Uchtdorf taught:  I believe that all of us experience times when the very fabric of our world tears at the seams, leaving us feeling alone, frustrated, and adrift. It can happen to anyone. No one is immune. Everyone’s situation is different, and the details of each life are unique.

And Elder Ballard taught:  We need to embrace God’s children compassionately and eliminate any prejudice, including racism, sexism, and nationalism. Let it be said that we truly believe the blessings of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ are for every child of God.

To be continued . . . with Part 42