Fear vs. Love
I recently finished the book “The Four Agreements” by don Miguel Ruiz. I really enjoyed it and found that much of it aligned with other concepts I’ve learned over the past few years. One of the ideas he teaches is that fear is the main cause of suffering. And that emotions such as anger, envy, shame, guilt, hopelessness, and jealousy are secondary emotions based on fear.
Ruiz refers to people who decide to embrace the four agreements and generate love and joy in their life as spiritual warriors. It is warfare because you are confronting the old fear-based beliefs in your brain. It may take a few weeks to break free from fear, the oppressiveness of the inner critic, and old emotional habits. Some battles may be lost along the way, but that is to be expected as you invite love and joy into your heart and your life.
The battle of the spiritual warrior is for personal freedom—freedom from fear, delusions, and the fear-based belief system that has controlled your mind. Essentially, it means to win the battle over the beliefs from the past. As you achieve personal freedom, you become free from the emotional suffering caused by your fears. This freedom allows you to live a life of gratitude, non judgment, and love for self and others.
As I studied this book, I was reminded of phrases from Elder Uchtdorf’s recent Conference talk, Perfect Love Casteth Out Fear. Here are four of my favorite paragraphs:
My message has two purposes today: The first is to urge us to contemplate and consider the extent to which we use fear to motivate others—including ourselves. The second is to suggest a better way.
It is true that fear can have a powerful influence over our actions and behavior. But that influence tends to be temporary and shallow. Fear rarely has the power to change our hearts, and it will never transform us into people who love what is right and who want to obey Heavenly Father.
People who are fearful may say and do the right things, but they do not feel the right things. They often feel helpless and resentful, even angry. Over time these feelings lead to mistrust, defiance, even rebellion.
My beloved friends, my dear brothers and sisters in Christ, if we ever find ourselves living in fear or anxiety, or if we ever find that our own words, attitudes, or actions are causing fear in others, I pray with all the strength of my soul that we may become liberated from this fear by the divinely appointed antidote to fear: the pure love of Christ, for “perfect love casteth out fear” (1 John 4:18).
Being a perfectionist, I’ve struggled with the expectation of having the “perfect” love that casteth out fear. But I don’t believe this means my love has to be perfect. Only the pure love of Christ is perfect. And as I strive to become more like Him, He will perfect my efforts, which will bring the spiritual confidence to dispel fear and invite Love.
To be continued . . . with Part 27
