Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist - Part 29

My Neighbor’s Fence

Why is it that perfectionists fixate on things that are out of order?  I took an online OCD quiz and got a perfect score.  It showed pictures of objects that were similar but in each case one was slightly off-center.  If you could spot the one that wasn’t symmetrical, you got a point.  

Each morning when I exercise outside I go past my neighbor’s fence.  It’s a long fence with a lot of pickets.  But every time I run past, I notice a small area of one picket that’s broken.  It’s sad that of all 983 pickets in his fence (yes, my perfectionism required me to count them all), I focus on the one that’s imperfect.

I met a woman recently, and as we talked, my eyes kept moving to a small mole she had by her nose.  I couldn’t just talk with her without that blemish commanding my attention.  It wasn’t even a big one.  

There’s a painting in an area where I work, with a grid of squares.  One of the squares is slightly twisted.  I always see that one first.  
Even when I’m in the temple, which is a pretty perfect place, I notice if there’s a ding in the edge of the woodwork, or if the curtain isn’t hanging straight.  

What’s up with this?  Why does it bother me when the world isn’t perfect?  Why do I want to go up and straighten a picture frame that’s crooked?  

I think probably the underlying tendency is good.  A healthy striving for perfection is good.  It keeps us on the right track.  But perfectionism is a misguided, telestial approach to becoming perfect.  The correct approach to perfection is striving to come unto Christ.  The more we work toward that, the more we are perfected in Him.  And the more we allow Him to perfect us, the more we become like Him.  It’s the gradual, but mighty change of heart that accompanies our conversion.

And when His will is our focus, we don’t fixate unnecessarily on small dings or misaligned objects.  We see a larger, more significant picture.  We let unimportant flaws fall by the way and set our sights on higher priorities.  

To be continued . . . with Part 30