Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist - Part 31

Be Ye Therefore Perfect—Eventually

Each spring and fall after General Conference, my blog post usually highlights some of the talks that help me deal with my perfectionism.  At the root of my problem is the feeling that I’m not good enough, and that I need to be perfect right now.  I’m working on that and I’m making progress.  But it’s especially strengthening when someone like Elder Holland provides supportive counsel in a conference talk.  His was entitled:  Be Ye Therefore Perfect—Eventually.  Here are some of my favorite parts.

Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect (Matthew 5:48). Such celestial goals seem beyond our reach.  Yet surely the Lord would never give us a commandment He knew we could not keep.

Around the Church I hear many struggle with this issue: “I am just not good enough.”  “I fall so far short.”  “I will never measure up.”

As children of God, we should not demean or vilify ourselves, as if beating up on ourselves is somehow going to make us the person God wants us to become.

I believe that Jesus did not intend His sermon on this subject to be a verbal hammer for battering us about our shortcomings.  No, I believe He intended it to be a tribute to who and what God the Eternal Father is and what we can achieve with Him in eternity.

The grace of Christ offers us not only salvation from sorrow and sin and death but also salvation from our own persistent self-criticism.

My brothers and sisters, except for Jesus, there have been no flawless performances on this earthly journey we are pursuing, so while in mortality let’s strive for steady improvement without obsessing over what behavioral scientists call “toxic perfectionism.”

Every one of us aspires to a more Christlike life than we often succeed in living.  If we admit that honestly and are trying to improve, we are not hypocrites; we are human.  May we refuse to let our own mortal follies, and the inevitable shortcomings of even the best men and women around us, make us cynical about the truths of the gospel, the truthfulness of the Church, our hope for the future, or the possibility of godliness.  If we persevere, then somewhere in eternity our refinement will be finished and complete—which is the New Testament meaning of perfection.

I testify of that grand destiny, made available to us by the Atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Isn’t this amazing?  His words speak to me not only on an intellectual level, but they speak to my heart.  

For a perfectionist like me, this is exactly what’s needed.  I often hear things and agree with them in my brain, but still don’t believe them in my heart.  So I love it when I can take things in and have my heart changed.  It’s a very gradual process, but it’s happening.  

To be continued . . . with Part 32